Lynn’s blog

Haven't felt so loved for awhile. Reminds me too of a couple of weeks back, of the acceptance and love I felt at my new family's place. It's a knowing that I'm loved unconditionally. My walk with God has been 10+ years (12 to be exact). My struggles have often been an emotional one. The constant trying to be a good light for God, to bless, to love, to show kindness, to serve with the right attitude. But with just a careless angry word, less-than-excellent attitude at work or ministry, the blessings and testimonies, fall flat on my face. In trying to be that perfect Christian, and more than often times I have fallen short, a sense of guilt, anger towards myself creeps in and shakens my confidence in standing in the presence of God. And there is the self-consciousness that demands a rational response rather than an emotional one, though for me, it is often through the latter that the Lord ministers. It becomes a wilful heart that seemingly rejects even the great love of the Heavenly Father. Which is true, living with a quarter tank is a drag. For with a quarter tank, I can't love, be kind, gentle, patient. I can't love before receiving the full tank of the love of God, and presence of the Holy Spirit. Because of a quarter tank, there remains a 3-quarter tank, room for fear, insecurities that creeps in...

Then the Heavenly Father says, let Me love you. An open invitation from heaven.

Perhaps C-ness (as in DISC profiling test) is not in my DNA. A few weeks back, I lost my wallet - think it's at least the 2nd time. For the record, I had lost my hp 3 times thus far in my lifetime.

ANYWAY ..

Yep, this is a thanksgiving posting yet again! Let me recollect the details and give all glory to Jehovah :)

Lost my wallet in Marina square level 1 toilet. Right. Went to the ladies before lunch with colleagues at MOF. Placed my wallet right there on the toilet roll holder/cover. And you guessed it, I forgot to take it and went on happily for lunch.

1.5 hours later, when it's time for the bill .. *gasp* where's my wallet? Well, it was all but too late. Wallet's gone. Toilet attendants have not seen it. No wallet returned at the info counter. I had wanted to cry! A thought came to me, that just that morning, I wanted to leave some cards behind, esp my IC, and driving licence. I thought of not carrying so much cash with me, what if I lost my wallet? Strange pre-warning for what's to come? I just felt that God is in control. Since surely God knows that I would lose my wallet that day, God could also get it back for me.

I did the necessary. Called ALL the banks. Man, why did I sign up for so many credit cards? But they are a small deal compared to my IC - it would have costed me $300 for a replacement. Other than that, is $40+ cash, some member discount cards ... even went to make a police report.

Almost 2 weeks has passed. It's a Saturday. I woke up past 12 noon. What a great sleep that was ...  on retrospect, I needed that for the impending 'crisis':

1. Washed up, read the newspapers ... decided to just surf the ICA website to check out the procedure to apply for IC. Btw, I'm  starting on my new job the following Monday.
2. Lo and behold! There it is written, for loss of IC, I'm supposed to report personally at ICA within 2 weeks! ICA closed shop already by then. Man, why did I wake up so late? Which means, the deadline for making IC is on the Monday when I'm supposed to start my new work!  Thoughts raced. Anxiety levels up. How to report for work on Day 1 and request for timeoff .. erm .. to make IC?
3. Ploughed further through the website.. payment by NETS only. Great. I don't have an ATM card yet - cos I used my credit card as my ATM card , and there was some hiccups in getting the PIN sent to me. I still have my ATM card at home , but yes, I had long forgotten the PIN. Arrghh! 
4. Might as well get a replacement done for driving licence. Cost = $25. But need to go down to UBI Traffic Police department to do. Need a photo also. But I only had 1 last IC sized photo with me! 
5. Ok.. why don't I settle the ATM link first. Called POSB hotline. No way I can get the credit card and ATM linked by Monday. An alternative is to get a new ATM card from one of the branches. But at that time, most branches are closed already. Nearest is Funan. Cost = $5.
6. It is a CRISIS! Stress levels extremely high. Called Kelvin who suggested lending me his ATM card .. we are meeting to go for a friend's wedding that evening. The rest, can settle on Monday. Possibly try to skip a staff event on Monday to go down ICA.
7. Ok, go develop my photos first. Needed the photos to be ready in an hr cos need to be at wedding. Photo shop man says not possible. Negotiated for 1.15 hr.
8. Just when I reached home, a postman came to my door. He got a registered mail for me. Pretty small parcel. Hmm, I was expecting a much bigger one .. thinking it's the Coach bags from US. Opened it, and oh my goodness! My cards! All of them, including my IC, driving licence etc. There was a handwritten note. Someone had found my cards in a cubicle on the 3rd floor toilet ... and decided to mail them all back to me. She apologised for the delay as she has been caught up by work. I was so so thankful and touched to tears at that moment. The 'crisis' just solved itself. No need to make IC already :) Someone else has taken my cash and my old Braun Buffel wallet. But I'm just thankful to get my IC back! Later, I got a new wallet - complimentary from Kelvin :)

All along, God has heard my prayers and has already answered them. Just that the answered prayer was taking time to reach me. Yet again, God has come through for me - at the deepest point of my need. THANK GOD!

If there's anything I've learnt from this episode, it's to HAVE FAITH and TRUST GOD. And also .. to take care of my belongings!

I thank God for being my Jehovah Jireh (My Provider) and Jehovah Shammah (The Lord who never leaves me nor forsakes me). 2008 has been a year of miracles for me. Many prayer requests. Many were answered. A year of trusting in God's provisions especially for wedding preparations and job search.

>> Wedding Preparations

1. Christian housing agent and seller - This is our prayer. Our desire. To work with people of the same faith and whom we are comfortable with. We managed to get in touch with Glynis, our agent through Jiahui as they are in the same tribe/cell group. Our home seller, Andy, is a Christian and he even declines a higher offer to sell his flat to us. Even more thrilled is the fact that the flat has been occupied by Christians since Day 1.
2. Flat at AMK - AMK is our first choice for location. Near town, and proxmity to MRT and amenities. We took a long while to look for our flat, 4-room. Think we have visited >20 units over 8 weekends? Started off in AMK but the either the COV is too high, or the flat is too far from MRT station. Decided to go for 2nd choice - near my current place - and even open to consider 3-room. In the end, God blesses us with a 5-room flat in AMK, within walking distance to MRT and amenities, and within our budget. We were praying for low COV (<$20k) which is rare in this market. God more than provides for us - our COV is only $5k!
3. HSBC home loan - Our home loan interest rate is pegged to SIBOR which is exceptionally low during this period. Thank God! And we also received a $400 Taka voucher because of some promotions.
4. Banquet at Park Royal - It was quite a last minute decision to book a hotel banquet. But we managed to book the last available Saturaday and at wedding show prices. Park Royal was also our first choice as the food has been tried and tasted to be good - according to Kelvin's 2 times experiences. Aside, we were blessed by Yuan Chang who did the hard work of compiling the list of hotels which helps us in our planning and budgeting.
5. Bridal package from Sattine -  Sattine is located along Tanjong Pagar road with a whole stretch of pretty up-market bridal studios. We are recommended to Sattine by Kelvin's friend who had a good experience with this studio. We just popped by Sattine one Sunday evening after church and was surprised to bump into Jimmy - the owner and Kelvin's ex-hall mate. He normally don't come down on Sundays but that day, he just decided to pop by. And he gave us a good package with preferential rates without us bargaining - and of course we signed on the spot - our first and last stop of bridal studios.
6. Photoshoot - Exceptionally fine weather that day. The past few days were cold and wet. The photographer, assistant, driver and make-up artist were all commenting that we were 'lucky' to have that kind of weather ideal for photo-taking. The photographer even took extra shots for us as the weather was simply to good to be 'wasted'. We also got good photographers for the actual wedding day shots. They will be taken by Kelvin's ex- colleague's husband - reputably good.
7. Diamond ring - We got a wholesaler contact from Kelvin's colleague. Very good price for the same quality. Good service. Aside, Kelvin actually did the marriage proposal twice. Blessed by his humilty and efforts to want to make me happy and feel loved. 'Lovers' Daily', a rose, romantic dinner, brownie with ice-cream and fireworks.
8. Holy Grace - This is the church off Upper East Coast road which we will use for our Holy Matrimony. We like the space and enviroment. Thank God for an available date as the church is quite popular for wedding bookings. On the day of church hunting, we were blessed by Pastor Luke from Marine Parade Christian Centre with a prayer for our wedding preparations. Were reminded of the importance and the need for prayer even we go about doing the preparations. 
9. Honeymoon at Australia - The exchange rates are too attractive to resist Australia as a honeymoon destination. To top off, Kelvin is able to use his KrisFlyer miles to redeem for Business Savers tickets :)

>> New job at AVIVA

I prayed along with the cell group for this job. Initially I was still hesitating whether this is a good move amid the current financial/economic climate, and whether there will be too many changes for me during this period of wedding preparations and transition into marriage life. The process took about 5 months to complete and in between, I got another offer but I turned it down. The final offer from Aviva came after this and is well within 4 months of my wedding day. I feel that this is an answered prayer from the Lord and I accepted it after much deliberation and discussion with various people. I committed to the Lord 2 short-term concerns I have: whether I'm entitled to marriage leave in Aviva and whether I can still get the long service incentive from Income. The first is answered as the answer is Yes even though I will still be under probation in March. The second one, I'm still praying for that miracle :)  

Just back from an evening jog. It was a purposefully one. I needed to let tomorrow's gkids lesson go through me and hear God speak to me. The lesson centred on this: If you want to be great, you must serve others.

2 parts here: (1) To be great; (2) Serve others

I spent some thoughts on the meaning of "being great". What kind of greatest do I want, and what kind of greatest is God talking about? I think the biblical context on "greatest" is about being honoured by God. It's about being favoured by God, everything that we do is prospered by Him, God is pleased with us and He answers our prayers. One example is Elijah: The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective. Wow, sounds like a good deal. Am I game for this kind of greatest?

James and John asked Jesus to let them sit at His right hand and left hand in His glorious kingdom. They wanted to be honoured by God and said they were even willing to suffer to be great. The Lord says in the bible, "I will honour those who honours Me." Ok, so the order is this: we honour God first, then He will honour us. The order is reversed in the concept of love: We love because He first loved us. God loves us first before we love Him. But He desires that we honour Him, before He honours us.

This brings us to the next point: How to honour God? By serving others.

Jesus came not to be served but to serve. He gave up His life so that others can have eternal life. I thought, if we are really 'blur' about what God wants us to do, or how God wants us to live, we should just look at Jesus. God sent His Son to model a way of life for us. He does what we sees the Father doing. So we follow Jesus, we would have followed God the Father Himself. God wants us to live on earth, simply to serve others. *gulp* Humanly I'm thinking, then what about me? Well, God says, you honour Me, I will honour you. *double gulp*

I see serving others is not about serving mechanically or robotically. It's about serving out of a love in us that compels us to do so. Without love, all the serving accounts to nothing. Worthless. Rubbish. As I was jogging just now, I confessed that sometimes, things just get routine. This week I teach, next week JY teach *yeah*. You know that kind of feeling. Next week no gkids *double yeah*. Ok, I think I got the point across. Just have to humble myself and say, God, please top me up with Your love so that I can channel Your love to the kids and those around. It's back to love God with my heart, soul, mind and strength, and love my neighbour as myself.

Part of the lesson plan is also to share about Amy Carmichael, the missionary from Ireland, who went to serve young girls in India, who are dedicated to the gods and forced into prostitution to earn money for the priests in the Hindu temples.

A familiar quote:

Today I learnt another one:

While serving in India, Amy received a letter from a young lady who was considering life as a missionary. She asked Amy, "What is missionary life like?" Amy wrote back saying simply,

Quite heavy going stuff to blog on a Saturday night.

From biblegateway verse of the day:

 "I pray also that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which he has called you, the riches of his glorious inheritance in the saints,”- Ephesians 1:18

Just finished Lisa Bevere's book on "Out of Control and Loving it". Many things struck a chord in my heart. One of the phrases as follows:

"I had become too busy being a mother to be a nurturer. Too busy a wife to be a companion."

Wow ... this is like a red flag signpost for me as I prepare myself to enter the next phase of my life. It goes back to the story of Mary and Martha again. Focusing on cares and tasks, or on building relationship and showing affection. More than time management, it calls for heart management ... to allocate our time to things deemed important to us. I was just thinking, there isn't time to do everything under the sun, but I ought to set aside time for things that truly matter.

What is it?

Fish book!

Haha it's a tic-for-tac. Got ah lian a fish book for her birthday yesterday from Borders Parkway Parade.Yeah, Borders at PP. I was expecting to see the MPH which erm, I guess found somewhere else to do business? Anyway, glad that she likes the book. Hee, there was a better (and more expensive) book lah, but the condition of that book not too good. Think it was a browsing copy. Then there's another one (very expensive) more for Florida Caribbean waters. The species in there, look like from another world!

Saw this book "Reef Fish Identification - Tropical Pacific" by Gerald Allen, Roger Steene, Paul Humann & Ned DeLoach from the Amazon.com, think this is the best book I've seen thus far. But sadly, price (on sale: US$30) convert to SGD plus shipping, it gonna cost a bomb! (for a fish book that is).

Karate chop! Hee that's the last activity of the experiential learning course at Sofitel, JB. We wrote a whole list of our commonly used excuses on a block of wood - the mission is to chop it into 2 - with a Karate chop! Thought it was quite interesting. It's like breaking our bondages as per our Encounter camps. And we were told we only had 1 chance to do it. It's now or never. it's a choice we have to make and be committed to. So many people had gone before and there with me was a great crowd of witnesses too. At that moment, I really wanted to break that block of wood. And wala! The wood broke, so did my hand. Ouch! Haha, now my right hand is all bandaged up. Looks like a drumstick ;)

Overall, the course was fun! It was during then God spoke to me about my self-consciousness too. Heh yes, I went uo for the altar call the day after during service :) When we gave a final shout of victory, I shouted the loudest I had ever shouted. Hot tears streamed down both cheeks. Felt that something in the spiritual realm is broken. Whoa! That's another layer of the onion peeled. Be going for Re-Encounter in Sep. More layers to be peeled. Both scared and excited.

Tada! It has arrived! From Florida, US! Hee,it cost about S$300 (including shipping), subsidised by my colleagues for my birthday gift, it costs me about S$200!

Along the package is also 2 body sprays from Bath & Body Works from our folks in US. That's a pleasant surprise indeed :)

Presenting my first COACH (soho collection):

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That's the theme of the SRC D&D this year. I say, this year's D&D is the most fun! The program was quite engaging and left almost no or little time to take more pictures. The food is quite good too. Hee. As usual, not so lucky at lucky draws.

Thanks to JY for the gorgeous Daniel Yam's gown! Saved a sum of $ that goes to my makeover at Bobbi Brown and Hairdo at The Scene. Hee, once in year event, quite exciting to get all dolled up for the rarest of time.

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I cooked myself a salmon fillet, with maize, broccoli, carrots and potato. Motivation? Cos I'm hungry! Home alone with no food to eat (but bread), it had been terrible for the past 4 days.

On 2 occasions, I went nearby food centre to eat fish porridge - and they tasted really good. I was eating and looking at what I was eating, hmm, perhaps I could do the same too? Anyway, that didn't materialise .. cos I can't cook rice! (nor porridge) I was thinking, erm, can I just dump the rice in a pot of water and boil them? Right. Oh, so I got sick of eating out .. and thought it will be a better idea to cook my own food! =)

I kinda planned my meals from today till I fly off on Monday night, less off those meals I will be eating out = 3 meals to cook. Thought of what I can cook, did up my marketing list .. and .. this time not NTUC, but atas Cold Storage =) Since I'm in Bugis area anyway to pack my dive gear with Bluereef Scuba. Cold Storage really offers a different kind of shopping experience (compared to NTUC). Some of the not-so-common brands are found here. The store is big and spacious. The food looks really fresh. And somehow, I feel rich even if I was lugging a basket on my side while looking for that broccoli among the vegetables.

Without further ado, presenting the end result: